Monday 7 December 2009

POINTLESS!!!

THE CLUBS WITH THE WORST RECORD FROM THE BLUE SQUARE PREMIER DOWN TO STEP SIX OF THE PYRAMID

The cold end always feels sorry for the clubs struggling at the wrong end of the table especially those with no wins or draws, thus pointless. In the Blue Square Premier and North/South Divisions there are no clubs holding this dubious honour this season. The closest being financially troubled Weymouth who have 2 wins from their twenty league games.

DURHAM CITY - TWENTY LEAGUE GAMES

Dropping down to Step 3 and there is currently one club being Durham City of the Unibond Premier League who have played 20 league games and lost all of them conceding an incredible 105 goals which is an average of 5.25 a game, they have hit the back of the net 13 times. Last weekend the City narrowly lost 2-3 at home to Frickley Athletic who are also near the bottom of the Division but a country mile away from Durham who are rooted to the foot of the table.

This is a far cry from the end of last season when the Unibond First Division (North) title was won.

Their well equipped home ground now known as 'The Esh Group Stadium' has a 3G artificial pitch which caused the Blue Sqaure Conference upon their promotion to the Unibond Premier to announce they would refuse the club entry to the Blue Square North should the club win the Division this year. This caused the club's major backer and sponsor to pull out and in turn the club released the entire first team squad (who had won back to back championships in the Northern League and the above mentioned Unibond Division One) leaving manager Lee Collings to recruit a very young team of untried teenagers and youngsters. The decision seems very unfair and unjust as World Cup Qualifiers and UEFA Champions League matches involving England and Manchester United have been played on 3G pitches in Russia in recent years.

Collings has recruited some older players since the start of the season and the cold end thinks it won't be long before the club may gain a win, even a point would be welcomed like a cup win over League opposition by the club's loyal fan base. On the 7th of November the club received it's biggest defeat of the season loosing 11-0 at Kings Lynn, A result which may be wiped off the record books if the financially troubled Linnets are unfortunately wound-up this week.

Durham although winless in the league have drawn against Horden CW in the FA Cup with the replay lost and they also won 1-0 versus Washington in the Durham County Challenge Cup.

City have a chance to get off of ZERO points this coming weekend when they travel to Fourth bottom Worksop Town and the following Saturday at home to 14th placed Nantwich Town (only won two out of 10 away games) and on Boxing Day away at Whitby Town who are currently 15th in the league.

COULSDON UNITED - SEVENTEEN LEAGUE GAMES

You have to drop down to Step Six in the pyramid to find another team on NIL points and we first stop off in the Combined Counties Division One and Coulsdon United who were formed after a merger of Coulsdon Town and Salfords (formerly Monotype) in 2007. Coulsdon Town were previously called Netherne Village, A club well known to Enfield Town fans after our match in the Capital Counties Feeder League Trophy in our inagrial season in 2001. Anyone remember the world's beat burger van at Netherne.

The club still play at Woodplace Lane in Netherne and have struggled to get planning permission for floodlights at the ground. Their season is summed by their official website which announces "we have no team photograph because we never have the same team from one week to the next!!! and many signed players have not enough commitment to the club in my opinion". The website also states after they have signed 14 new players in order to put a halt to the winless run. The Tops as they are nicknamed which is slightly unfortunate being as they are cast adrift at the bottom of the table by 10 points to Feltham who lost 8-1 to Farnham Town on Saturday only won 4 of the 34 league games played last season with their last victory coming back over a year ago on the 29th November 2008 when they won away 2-1 at Westfields. After this win there were 21 games (inc one forfeited at the end of the season) and the 17 for this season (total 38 games and counting). The club have hit the back of the net only 9 times and let in 71 goals in those 17 games this season.

The club have tasted victory once this season in the Surrey FA Premier Cup Round One when they beat Colliers Wood United by a scoreline of 3-2.

The Tops will be looking for a glory win starting with a home game versus Eversley on the 12th December, they then travel to Farleigh Rovers on 19th December before going to top of the table Worcester Park on Boxing Day.

LAUNTON SPORTS - FOURTEEN LEAGUE GAMES

In the Hellenic League Divsion One (West) Launton Sports have lost all of their fourteen games scoring only 5 goals and letting in 58. The East Division of the Hellenic League did contain Prestwood up until a few weeks back who had a miserable record and were beset by problems. They managed to get a 2-2 draw against South Kilburn before they unfortunately withdrew from the league. The Riversiders based in Launton which is near Bicester in Oxfordshire have hopped between the East and West Division of the Hellenic since joining from the Oxfordshire Senior League in 2007. Back at the beginning of November the club had a change of managership when Roger Wise and Lewis McGowan took over. The club are still without a win in all their league and cup matches this season. Cirencester United the club just above them in the league table on five points gained their only win (3-1) when the two clubs played each other on the 7th November. In their next three games they face Lydney Town (away), table toppers Slimbridge at home on the 19th December and North Leigh Reserves away on Boxing Day.

FAKENHAM TOWN - TWELVE LEAGUE GAMES

*Clipbush Park - Last home league victoy on 28th April 2009 3-2 versus Thetford Town.

The Ghosts as they are known play at their well appointed Clipbush Park ground in the delighful North Norfolk Town and have lost all twelve of their league games scoring only 5 goals and being breached 39 times. Joint managers Mark King and Stuart Woodhouse recently left the club to be replaced by under 18's manager Neil Jarvis who is currently caretaker manager possibly until the end of the season. They have won in the Norfolk Senior Cup when they beat Hempnall 1-0 on Saturday 10th October. In the league they have been thrashed 6-1 by Saffron Walden and 8-0 by FC Clacton.

Jarvis takes to the dugout for his first official game on Saturday at home to Diss Town (currently 4th) and then away trips to Conard United and Downham Town.

AFC ALDERMASTON - SEVENTEEN LEAGUE GAMES

In the Wessex League Division One (A league the cold end knows not much about) AFC Aldermaston are seventeen games without a point scoring 13 and letting in 75 goals. In their last game they were thrashed 8-0 by 4th placed AFC PORCHESTER.

So, there are currently five teams all with NIL points on the board. All of whom will be looking for that elusive win over the coming months. Most fans of the clubs in question will look at the plight of Kings Lynn and just be thankful they have a club to follow. Below is the cold end's unofficial wooden spoon table for Step 1 to Step 6 on the football pyramid with Durham City currently top as their Goal Against * average is higher than the other four teams, This may change slightly if Kings Lynn fold and the 11-0 defeat is subsequently deleted from the record books.

DURHAM CITY 20/20 GA* - 5.25
AFC ALDERMASTON 17/17 - 4.41
COULSDON UNITED 17/17 - 4.18
LAUNTON SPORTS 14/14 - 4.14
FAKENHAM TOWN 12/12 - 3.25

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